The countdown is over

So here we are. 39 weeks and approx 7 hours until I am due at the hospital for my elective c-section.

Far from being the relaxing night I had planned by going out for dinner (last in a while), I have spent the last 12 hours being unwell with significant signs of early labour. Even though I didn’t write a birth plan this time around, this was certainly NOT part of the plan.

Given that we opted for an elective, while there was always a chance that things could get started naturally, I didn’t actually believe it. So after having awful cramps and braxton hicks for the last 12 hours, I have never been more ready to get this baby out!!

Surprisingly, I’m not at all phased by the thought of going through major surgery today....I mean it can’t be as bad as having to get shuffled through an emergency section, right? I know what to expect, have got the t-shirt and an ready to go! I should hopefully have more control and know what I’m literally walking into - both from a surgery perspective but also recovery.

Let’s just hope we get to that point.

Until then I have to start fasting in 30 mins and urgently need a bath to ease the agony of my abdomin.

See you on the other side!

Boxset Conundrum

So here we are. 37 weeks pregnant and onto day five of mat leave. Its been pretty uneventful so far but as N is in nursery still for four days a week; today is where it all goes down. Yes, its boxset day! 

But what to watch? I need something to tide me over until the new series of The Crown starts. I need suggestions. Fire them over!! 

Paul or Paula? Help needed

As the weeks countdown, the hubby and I are in a bit of a predicament. You see, as with N, we don’t know the sex of number two. This (along with a number of other factors such as hubby being a teacher and knowing all the “good” and “naughty” children’s names) makes for our decision making skills to get a bit fuzzy.

So, I am calling on all you lovely lot to help. Give us your suggestions. We *think* we have a girls name but boys name is totally up for grabs.

A few criteria however to consider:
1) we need a name that can be shortened to another sensible name like Sebastain/Seb
2) we don’t want out kid to be one of the other four Alfie’s in their class (sorry parents with an Alfie
3) nothing too bananas like Moon or Sunrise
4) can’t be anyone that has pissed me off in recent history

Sound simple? Yeah right!

Over to you....you have about 5 weeks to put names on a postcard.

Here we go again....

So, its just just over a year since my last blog - sorry about that. But in my defence, I have been a little busy.

Not only have I gone back to work, seen N thrive in nursery, but also....WE'RE PREGNANT AGAIN!

Yep. I know that means that the blog name will need to change (we'll figure that out in due course), but it also means that in about 6 weeks time we will have a new kiddo joining the fold.

In all honesty, this has been the longest pregnancy ever as we found out pretty early so I will be pleased to have the kid out in the world and enjoy the good things in life again....brie, pate, a little more wine... you know, the things that make parents function in life.

More to likely come once I am on mat leave (14 working days to go!), but here we are, on the blogging journey again.

Let's do this!

#mummyguilt

I've not written a blog for sometime. Between organising and having N's birthday along with returning to work two days ago there has been one or two things going on. 

This blog is being written at its rawest state. It's 6.54am and I am standing on a drizzly platform with only street lights illuminating the sky and I have just left my son in tears as I said goodbye in the car. He has had this frame of mind since bathtime last night and I feel absolutely shit. 

Shit that i have had to go back to work and be in so early that the family needs to be up at 5.40am four days a week. Shit that we need the money of me going in four days a week so N needs to be in nursery.  Shit that its happens not because any of us were ready, but rather that we had to. 

As a result of all this shit-ness, N has suddenly decided that he is on a boob strike. Or is it that he decided its not his thing anymore? Or could it be cause the sky was grey last night? Or it could be his teeth? Either way, this has resulted in lots of crying (him and me). 

I have been thinking about the boob feeds for a while. I read a blog the other week about a mum who wasn't ready to stop feeding her daughter and I think thats how I feel with N. If we stop now, then everything else has to go back to the normality of before there was a baby. Commute, work, commute, heat tea in the microwave, Eastenders, then bed. 

I knew this was going to be hard - its what all other mums say. But I was organised. I had the lunches made, the bags packed and a wash on before I went to bed. But they didn't tell me how I could emotionally prepare. Can anyone? 

Yes, I know it will get easier. Yes, I know it wil become the new norm for N. But - do I actually want this? Ithink that might be a post for another day. 

Until then, I have managed to get a seat on the 6.57am train and at least its dry in here.... 

Sent from my iPhone

Buh-bye boob

My baby is one next week. One!! How did that happen??

Anyway, with his first birthday comes the time when I must return to work and as such put N into nursery for four days a week. No more sleeping when the baby sleeps, having a tidy house and being able to wear joggers all day.

However, this week we have faced a bit of a fork in the feeding road.

You see, N has had an upset tum and bad bum generally. "It's his teeth!", I hear you cry. Well, yes, it might be. Or it could (as many of you will know with kids) be any other number of things such as the moon not being in Taurus.

Because of this, we cut out the whole milk from his diet I had been using to try to wean him off the boob (or at least day time feeds). But has it made an impact in the last three days? Has it hell.

The helpful health visitors *note sarcasm* have read their baby books aloud to me and advised that N shouldn't be on whole milk before 12 months (yeah, coz a couple of weeks will make a huge difference in his life) *note more sarcasm*. Instead he should be on the great and good formula. But my quandary is - does he really need to be?

Yes, he needs to be on something NOT breast milk by he time I am back at work in x amount of sleeps (this is one countdown I refuse to count), but does it need to be formula?

Apart from being sicky with the whole milk before (when he was up to two feeds a day on it and given he has always been a little pukey) it didn't really bother him. So do I carry on as normal or do I take a chance on something completely new and spend the next two weeks getting him weaned onto that?

I honestly do not have the answer here. My gut is confused for the first time in a year. Google has also proved pretty useless as I already know N can drink from a bottle and I can't find any threads of mums who have breasted for a year and then are returning to work so the kid needs to drink something else.

Before this whole conundrum began I had been planning a blog about how sad I was to be stopping breast feeding, and in many ways I still am. But this has put somewhat of a cloud over the journey coming to a slow halt.

All through the past year, my Taurean stubbornness has made me believe that formula was a failure (which it completely is not - I know this deep down); but even now I feel a hypocrite to bite the bullet and put N onto formula.

What did you lovely lot do?

Whatever I choose (and by I it means my hubby too), the decision needs to be made quickly as it's so important for me that N has time to be weaned properly and not just overnight. Help!

Looking back

Facebook kindly reminded me this morning that it has been exactly a year since I began the wonderful world of maternity leave. 

Apart from having the kid, it has put me in somewhat of a reflective mood. So, what have I actually achieved with 353 days off (its a leap year remember)?

-have eaten cake on 351 out of the 353 days I have been off

-managed to go 10 months without a full nights sleep

-achieved a 97% attendance record at Rhyme Time

-spent only 75% of my life in pj's or joggers

-nailed the disapproving mum look to all workies and tw^ts who decide to park over the entire pavement making any movement around it nigh on impossible

-watched every single episode of homes under the hammer at least once (and teletubbies for that matter)

-discovered that B&M sell cheap wine (you're welcome) 

-had my card declined buying said cheap wine in B&M 

-appeared to hold it together in public but secretly lose my shit when the kid finds discipline hilarious

-spent my entire mat pay on nappies and starbucks

-taken an overtired child on a flight on my own

-reached level 172 of candy crush

But obviously, I am not perfect and there are some things I haven't done

-learnt fluent italian

-killed or maimed the child

-been able to walk past the doughnut counter in sainsburys without picking up at least two packet of what is essentially mat leave crack

-missed work #sorrynotsorry

-put up the blackout blind in the child's room (11 months later...)

-achieved rock hard abs by following the breastfeeding diet (see cake eating achievement) 

However, I still have a few weeks to achieve all this and more....or there is always next time around (!).

Sent from my iPhone