Apart from having the kid, it has put me in somewhat of a reflective mood. So, what have I actually achieved with 353 days off (its a leap year remember)?
-have eaten cake on 351 out of the 353 days I have been off
-managed to go 10 months without a full nights sleep
-achieved a 97% attendance record at Rhyme Time
-spent only 75% of my life in pj's or joggers
-nailed the disapproving mum look to all workies and tw^ts who decide to park over the entire pavement making any movement around it nigh on impossible
-watched every single episode of homes under the hammer at least once (and teletubbies for that matter)
-discovered that B&M sell cheap wine (you're welcome)
-had my card declined buying said cheap wine in B&M
-appeared to hold it together in public but secretly lose my shit when the kid finds discipline hilarious
-spent my entire mat pay on nappies and starbucks
-taken an overtired child on a flight on my own
-reached level 172 of candy crush
But obviously, I am not perfect and there are some things I haven't done
-learnt fluent italian
-killed or maimed the child
-been able to walk past the doughnut counter in sainsburys without picking up at least two packet of what is essentially mat leave crack
-missed work #sorrynotsorry
-put up the blackout blind in the child's room (11 months later...)
-achieved rock hard abs by following the breastfeeding diet (see cake eating achievement)
However, I still have a few weeks to achieve all this and more....or there is always next time around (!).
Sent from my iPhone
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