"Advice"

This will not the first and certainly not the last blog post about the unsolicited advice which I seem to be getting. Mostly it is all about N's sleep and it seems to be coming from those of let's say, an older generation.

N has not been sleeping all that well since we took a trip to Edinburgh. Between a change to his routine and a mix of separation anxiety, it has amounted to lots of bags under eyes.

The latest swathe of "useful advice" came about at a family occasion yesterday where a couple of non-relations who odd not get to see N much we're commenting on how content a baby he is. When chatting about how a happy child N is, someone felt the need to add "....but he doesn't sleep Mary..." to which a knowing nod came about. Then came the whole "have you done controlled crying?"

OF COURSE WE BLOODY HAVE!!!

I know you mean well, but sometimes that cry needs picked up or given some calpol (ahem). When I do need advice we will ask for it. And no, we will not have a second kid just because the first doesn't sleep...

I know my child and what he wants and how to get him back into his routine. I know he will be able to sleep sometime and if that's the only downside to being a mum is the lack of sleep, then I can handle it. Thanks so much (translation: bog off).

#happyfathersday

Dear Nic,

As it is Father's Day, I wanted to write you something to show everyone in the (social) world just how amazing a father your are.

While it may seem like N has been a part of our family forever (though it is not even nine months yet), he has changed both of us for the absolute better. From the daily smiles as we pick him up from his cot in the morning, through to the shit-nado's he is capable of doing in his car seat at the most unfortunate moment, I know he has brought you so much love and joy.

But just has he has brought you this, you have also done the same for him. From shushing him to slumber as a week old baby singing "twinkle twinkle", to dancing around the kitchen humming the 'homes under the hammer' theme tune; I know that our son is in complete wonder of you each and every day - especially as he squints his face and waves his arms and legs every evening as you arrive home. I know that his love for you is as much as yours for him.

So, as our not so little man grows into a big boy, I want to say thank-you for being the #bestdadever (yes, I just hash tagged the blog).

Love you.

K

Remembering the early days...

Two of my amazing friends have just popped out the most gorgeous bubbas. Both are settling into becoming mummy's (and will be absolutely amazing) and getting to know these new cherubs that suck away our sleep but also give so much love.

We are in a completely different phase of bubba land - crawling. N has been getting ready for about a month now (starting backwards, then developing his sky-diver pose), but we are now MOVING FORWARDS - and quickly too! He loves banging things on the wooden floor, trying to bash himself in the eye with the TV unit and giving kisses to his dad and I (he just needs to master not giving tongue at the same time).

But no matter how exciting it is just now, I miss the days when N would curl up into my chest and snuggle for an age. I now still get lovely cuddles, but it also involves a headbut or three along with a kick in the crotch so he can find that perfect position.

But 7 1/2 months on, I am so happy we are here. I love seeing him develop (even if it seems at record pace). He is the most happy little munchkin and is adored by every old lady at the bus stop going.

Anyway, must dash - he has just woken from a nap and we are off to see Zia Cristina today. xoxo

MEternity vs MAternity

If you have not seen This Morning recently, you will have missed the delightful lady who came on to argue that single ladies should qualify for MEternity time. What would it involve? Well, as we all do on MAternity, it's all about going to the gym, long lies, coffee in Starbucks for several hours and generally having some ME time. 

I will be the first to argue that before I had N, I underestimated how challenging being a mum would be (a case of rose tinted glasses). I completely underestimated how tired I would be, how frustrating it would be not to be able to get the baby to sleep when I needed him to would be or just how much work is needed to be done around the house in between those two things. 

While I am not in an office, I am definitely working. Bloody hard and all the time. It is my time to change 90%f the nappies, wash two loads (and iron it) of clothes each day, plan meals not only for the adults but also now N. On paper, looks like a piece of piss - in reality, but 3pm when you have a baby screaming through tiredness, cutting teeth, hunger or for no reason at all it can be REALLY FUCKING HARD - especially when the statutory pay ends. **Cue baby crying after a 26 minute nap**

.......

**46 mins later after a feed, bum change, bounce and wiggle into the Jumperoo**

Please don't get me wrong - I am adoring my time with an and wouldn't ever change it for the world. But to see a silly lady preach that single ladies should be entitled to a similar amount of leave just for being single. Clearly she did what she did to drum up a bit of attention, but If  you fancy a bit of time off, love, book a holiday. 

"Hello, my name is..."

Babies are brilliant, aren't they? Obviously, they change your world/make life worthwhile blah, blah, blah. But they also create a brilliant ice breaker when meeting new mums.

We went to a new baby/toddler group today and I have to say, even though I needed to psyche myself up to have the guts to walk through the door, once I was there it was N who helped in meeting the other mums. 

Prior to having a baby or any work networking settings, I was rubbish in talking to new people. While I am pretty social and pretty awesome once you know me, please never make me go somewhere on my own - I am much happier with my own people.  

But not I literally have my own person who I can use as a buffer. 

Just another plus to being a mum ;)

Sleep training update

We are now 11 days into sleep training and I think we are finally getting somewhere. It's not been without many, many tears (N's and mine).

I think I mentioned, but we started with Pick up, Put down and closing the boob bar. Well, whilst the latter definitely worked; PUPD was a dud.

So four nights ago we decided to play hardball and change up the strategy. We have followed the Ferber method and so far, so good.

Night one was an absolute bastard with 46 mins (yes, I counted) of crying. Night two got us down to 14 mins and night three, we'll he settled himself!!! Yes!!

Having spoken to another friend who tried this with her bubba, I think the babies just need to be ready themselves to self settle. What's more, we have gone from up to FIVE feeds a night to just ONE around 5am and even then I'm starting to think we could erase that completely (though, I am still a mum and don't want to deprive my baby).

What's more, we are then not waking until after 7am - absolute bliss I tell ya!

The true test will now be once the hubby returns to work tomorrow, how N copes with more noice around the house in the morning. As ever, wish us luck!!

Sleep training (or lack thereof)

We are currently six days into sleep training during the Easter holidays.

Whilst holidays used to be full of long lies and afternoon naps pre-baby, we are trying to figure out how to get the boy to sleep longer at night.

Before we set off, the hubby and I did our research and spoke to friends to find out what they did. After a chat on what we would and would not be comfortable with (cry it out didn't make the cut), we decided to close the Boob Bar between midnight-5am (previously on 24/7 service) and try the Pick up, Put down option.

Before I get into the details we probably didn't pick the exact right week to do this as we were going away on our first holiday as a threesome and we're taking a different buggy (which was previously the only place N would nap during the day) but try we must.

Long story short, we have managed to cut down on feeds for five to just two, but the screaming matches have been blood curdling - to the point N has been close to losing his voice. We (I) also had to give in on a couple occasions as the Boob was the only way to calm the beast.

So this brings us to today and we have decided that whilst we might not be feeding five times a night, N is still waking the same amount so we need a brand new strategy.

From tonight, the bar will still be closed, but will be trying the Ferber method which seems to be a nice balance of CIO and PUPD. After trying it for this mornings nap, N settled after just 15 mins.

Please, please wish us luck. Needless to say I will be topping myself up on wine before the night begins....